Don’t feed the trolls.

So recently on facebook someone has been posting multiple posts about how “sick” they are, and it’s very tiring to read bullshit like this when you’re actually genuinely sick yourself. I’m not saying people who get minor head colds can’t post a status saying “Ugh I’m sick”, but I’m just saying don’t do it every damn day. It gets on people’s nerves, just most people don’t want to cause a scene and hope by comment “aww, you poor thing, get well soon” and giving them some attention they’ll shut up soon. Generally I ignore this person, but recently the posts were getting more and more annoying. One in particular, complaining about being in hospital and that they might be missing a concert. I posted on this, genuinely trying to be sympathetic because I’ve missed concerts because of being sick in hospital. I said something along the lines of that she should sell her tickets rather than hope to go if she’s still in the hospital (the concert being in three days time), she commented back saying “Oh I’m not in hospital anymore”. At this point I couldn’t handle it anymore and word for word posted “Well shut the hell up complaining then!”

She honestly doesn’t understand that I wasn’t trying to upset her or make her feel worse, I was just telling her to shut up and stop fishing for sympathy that’s probably false most of the time anyways, just nobody else has the “courage” to say it to her. Someone who is sick with something serious (like me), in general doesn’t want to draw attention to that fact all of the time and wouldn’t be posting everyday looking for sympathy, because they want to be treated like everyone else, not singled out for being different. At least that’s what I feel, and a few others that I know who have similar conditions.

What’s worse, is she seems to have compared her minor “illness” (which she may or may not have, most people seem to think she doesn’t or that the doctor just diagnosed something so that she would shut up) to mine saying I don’t know what it’s like, and that set everyone who knows both of us into a massive rant. I don’t know if she actually said anything since I never saw it and only heard it through another party. I heard it from several people. I don’t see why they would make it up, but I didn’t want to cause a fight, I just wanted to stop her posting annoying updates.

Blocking out the world, I find this song works.

Give Me Novacaine – Green Day

Take away the sensation inside
Bitter sweet migraine in my head
Its like a throbbing tooth ache of the mind
I can’t take this feeling anymore

[Chorus:]
Drain the pressure from the swelling,
This sensations overwhelming,
Give me a long kiss goodnight
and everything will be alright
Tell me that I won’t feel a thing
So give me Novacaine

Out of body and out of mind
Kiss the demons out of my dreams
I get the funny feeling, that’s alright
Jimmy says it’s better than air,
I’ll tell you why

[Chorus]

Oh Novacaine

[Chorus:]
Drain the pressure from the swelling,
This sensations overwhelming,
Give me a long kiss goodnight
and everything will be alright
Tell me Jimmy I won’t feel a thing
So give me Novacaine

The Butterfly Project

I didn’t make this up, but I feel the message needs to be spread.

The Butterfly Project:

The Rules are:
1. When you feel like you want to cut, take a marker, pen, or sharpies and draw a butterfly on your arm or hand.
2. Name the butterfly after a loved one, or someone that really wants you to get better.
3. You must let the butterfly fade naturally. NO scrubbing it off.
4. If you cut before the butterfly is gone, you’ve killed it. If you dont cut, it lives.
5. If you have more than one butterfly, cutting kills all of them.
6. Another person may draw them on you. These butterflies are extra special. Take good care of them.
7. Even if you don’t cut, feel free to draw a butterfly anyways, to show your support. If you do this, name it after someone you know that cuts or is suffering right now, and tell them. It could help.

Amounting to something…

I never know what to write for these blogs, I just hope that inspiration will some how find me. It doesn’t always, thus my silly short little posts that nobody reads. Or if they do they’re not intriguing enough for people to post on and let me know they’re reading, and would like me to keep writing nonsense each day.

I dream of amounting to something but so many things are holding me back, my health mainly. The next thing would probably be means to develop an idea. My perseverance is greatly affected by my lack of stamina because of my Cystic Fibrosis. It’s demotivating. I wish I could do something with my life. I recently thought of doing a short film of my daily routine as I have so many things to do. Medication, nebulisers, feed, ventilator at night, more and more being added to my routine as I get older. I mean I don’t even go to school, I have to get taught at home because I don’t have the energy for school.

POKÉMON!

I’ve started back playing my Pokémon white game. Got from the 4th Gym to the 8th Gym since last week. I haven’t been playing it that much, a little bit while watching TV, because the training gets so damn boring. I’m trying to beat the 8th Gym which is all dragon types, so I’m (trying to) train some ice type pokémon, but they’re terribly weak and are so annoying to train. Wild pokémon give so very little exp, and all the trainers I haven’t battled are far too strong for them. Ugh, I need some help. I’m using the Lucky egg item for the exp bonus, but still it’s taking terribly long.

Gobbledegook

Why does every blog post need to meaningful and insightful? Can’t I just write anything I want. It’s my blog, I could post nothing but jumbled up letters and gobbledegook if I wanted to. But I’m not going to. A few people sighed with relief there. I just know it.

 

Well today, I was another ish day. Started out badly, but I’m okay now. I woke with a terrible headache. I cancelled two of my lessons, the third the teacher contacted me to reschedule for tomorrow because she couldn’t come today anyway. I haven’t eaten much, but I’m terribly hungry. I can’t eat for fear of vomiting. And the fact that I don’t want to eat anything in particular, it’s much easier when I get a feeling for something specific. I’m just so sick of feeling this way. I want to be better. And stay better. Why do I have to keep getting sick?

Gotta start somewhere . . .

I never know how to start a blog or anything like this, but I’m just going to get right into it and start here, with today.

Well, today I feel like absolute crap. Slept in until 10:30 only because I had no urge or reason to actually get out of bed. I cried a little bit, then I dragged a duvet downstairs and plonked myself in front of the TV to try and distract myself from my misery. As you can guess it didn’t work for long. Then at lunch time my mam brought my sister home from school, as she was finished early today. She joined me on the couch, I felt a little better but then I got sick around 3:20pm and have been feverish and sickly since.  I’m very lonely at the moment and I’m full of mixed emotions about people, and just really tired of people letting me down and disappointing me.  I’m going to use the tags to let people know my feelings and emotions.